Cutlass or Cavalier?

So maybe my Fantasy Football team is officially eliminated for the season, due in large part to quarterback injuries that cost Houshmandzadeh and Moss monster seasons, and Clinton Portis' nagging injuries. Maybe after starting a game of bowling with five straight strikes the other night, I barely rolled a 200. Maybe I had my first bowl of Cracklin' Oat Bran this morning and I wondered, "Why all the hype?" (there isn't much hype about this cereal, but my girl loves them - I think they kind of suck). What I am trying to say is that it is increasingly difficult for me to find things to complain about today. I am grateful for what the Lord has given me.

Last night as I went to bed, I simply prayed that I could wake up and feel energized. Well, the Lord heard my prayer. I was up at like six. I began doing laundry, followed by my typical regiment of abdominal exercises (what you see does not happen by accident folks) and then I went for a really nice jog through Rochester and Monaca. Every once in a while I am blessed with the perfect set of songs on my ipod for the occasion. And anyone who knows me knows that certain songs spawn certain thoughts and levels of excitement and enthusiasm in my spirit.

I heard the song "Bubble Toe(s)" by Jack Johnson. I can't remember if it's plural or not. At any rate my girl Jenn has toes that probably qualify as "bubble toes" so I thought of her and was thankful. Then I heard a song entitled "Ramshackle Day Parade" by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros. Joe Strummer is the late, great front man of The Clash. The song always makes me think of a mission trip I took to Indianapolis which concluded nine years in ministry at my previous church. I heard the song "Rocky Mountain High" by John Denver. He was not full of crap ( slightly edited Dumb and Dumber reference). I was crossing the Monaca/Rochester Bridge as I heard the opening lyrics speak of a man being born in his 27th year. Those who know me, know that to be true in some ways. There are some other themes in the lyrics that struck my heart. He sings of a clear, blue, mountain lake bringing serenity. Now, the Ohio River aint no clear, mountain lake, but as I heard the word "Serenity", I thanked Jesus for the Serenity he has bestowed upon my life for today. Dave Matthew's Band's "The Maker" followed and made me grateful for what it means to be cherished and loved in the eyes of my Maker. If you struggle to believe that you are loved and cherished and celebrated by the Maker, I think you should call into question whatever belief system to which you are currently adhering.

"Why Georgia" or "Georgia Why" by John Mayer seems to be a song about a man questioning whether or not he was living right. I remember the first time I heard that song. I was younger, and I know that "right" could hardly describe the way I was going through the motions of my life. It was cool to hear the song with a heart filled with the peace of a man who has learned how to live one day at a time. Finally, to appropriately end the soundtrack of my morning jog, I heard Neil Young's "Heart of Gold". I still remember the first time I really "heard" that song. I was in eleventh grade. It was a gorgeous Fall day. I was cruising with three of my friends. Me and my friend Tim got out of the car that day, and were emphatic about our desire to own some of Neil Young's catalogue. I would bet we didn't word it quite like I just did. Eleventh grade dudes don't say, "I would love to explore, if even just a small portion, the catalogue of Neil Young's work!" Anyway, what I'm saying is that I loved the song then, and I love it now. Great songs transcend time and space and take on different meanings as years pass. A heart of gold was just a fleeting notion then. I was just a kid who looked for parties who would fall deeper and deeper for many more years than I would have guessed at that point. Jesus, I am in awe at times to be on the other side of many of my greatest difficulties.
It is an overwhelming joy to be able to look back over years of my life and see how the good Lord was able to use various people, places and things. Music often helps me in this pursuit. Today I am grateful for the people in my life. I am grateful for the opportunities the Lord has placed before me. I am ever grateful for the forgiveness and new life. I am grateful for my girlfriend (for now, and I mean that in a good way) Jenn. I am grateful when I step outside in the morning and I have a choice. Do I want to drive the '87 Cutlass or the '01 Cavalier? It may not seem like much, but how am I so blessed?
In conclusion I say to you folks who still check this blog: Happy Christmas! Try to look back on the Lord's hand in your life, and list just a few of the things for which to give thanks. The serenity and gratitude that may come as a result are irreplaceable. At least I have found this to be true for me for today.

Aint She Perty?

I haven't blogged in some time. I apologize. I am too much of a perfectionist in my writing. I have found blogging to be a struggle for this reason. I take way too long just preparing a single post. I will keep this short and sweet. Jenny girl looks so darn perty in this picture. I just had to steal it from her Facebook page and make it known to the masses (or at least the few die hard bloggers who still check what I write once every six months). Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I am thankful for God's love, His grace, His gift of turkey and stuffing, and my girl Jenn Reill. I wonder how long she's gonna keep that last name?

I Work With Students

Much of the success (a tricky word for ministry being as success is hard to gauge) I've been able to have in working with youth has been the result of a willingness to invest in what they're doing. So I have always tried to make it a point to get involved by attending local school and sporting events. I once won fifty bucks at a Christmas concert! When I was young in ministry, however, this was hard for me. I usually felt like some kind of goof showing up by myself and sitting alone at high school basketball games etc. But as I have gotten to know more and more people in the community over the years, it has become a real joy.
A couple years ago, I volunteered at the concession stands with a bunch of moms, and when they would ask me if I had a kid who played, I would reply, "Yes, my oldest is a senior and I have two playing junior high ball." They would appear confused because I look a bit young. Eventually I would admit I was joking.
For years I had been working with students primarily from Freedom High School. If I were to attend a game, I could barely make it five feet, before somebody wanted to stop to talk. It's really cool. Although sometimes when a bunch of band kids yell to me, and their teachers "correct" them, I feel stupid.
My current position has me working with several area schools. The picture above was taken by a student of mine while I was attending my first ever Monaca High School Football game. A senior student of mine scored a touchdown from his defensive end position which isn't an everyday occurrence. It was a great night! In this particular photo, I was asking students if they thought my "pants looked neat" and if "they dug my style" My volunteers present, along with many people I had never seen before thought I was missing bolts.
All this to say, I have a lot of fun when I get around crowds. We recently had our kickoff for High School and Middle School. I am so thankful to God that I enjoyed the two nights as much as I did. I have been working really hard lately to truly connect with the people God has placed in my care, students and volunteers alike. I even did "the worm" for the first time since the early nineties with a middle school kid named B.J. I think at some basic level, the heart of a youth minister is just different from the hearts possessed by most. And I am more than o.k. with that!
I love to take a genuine interest in students, and see them light up when I make that effort. There is something truly gospel about taking the time to let someone know that they are worth your time and attention. Sometimes when I see a "light" come on in the heart and the life of a young person, I wonder why so many others don't love these crazy kids in a similar fashion.

The Borders Girl

Yesterday, I was making a purchase at Border's Books. While waiting in the check-out line, the cashier asked me if I wanted a Border's Card (I guess for frequent customers). I replied, "No thank you, I'm illiterate." She gave no response. Apparently she wasn't amused by my dumb joke. Sometimes when I say something that I find oddly humorous in my own mind, and those present don't share my sentiment, it makes me struggle all the more not to laugh. I began to wonder if the cashier thought I was some kind of weirdo or something. So I began to laugh even harder, yet nobody else was around, so I began to look even crazier. And then it just snowballed. Do these things only happen to me?

Denver to Ogden

I swear I saw a field just outside of Denver that contained two to three camels. Then me and Jenn ecountered a town (population: 1) or something of a town called Buford. The beginning of that day was a bit lengthy. I entertained Jenn by getting really into the first six or seven songs on Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band.

Then a most surreal "event" occured. I will choose to describe our time at a rest stop in Rock Springs as an event. First, we encountered road construction, so the exit to the rest area was not clearly marked to begin with. As we went through some cones and saw little or no signs of civilization, Jenn asked, "Are we supposed to be driving on this, or are we offroading?" And at that point I thought we were offroading (honestly). Then as we went under some bridges and came to a dirt road intersection, I said some bad words and wondered what kind of "micky mouse operation this was". A guy in another vehicle was laughing at my confusion. When we finally traveled through about a two mile labrynth and found a gas station, we were mesmorized by not only the people, and the clothing and dialect, but also the choice of subject content contained within various conversations. Nobody had sleeves, and one notable discussion included a guy who had come across a small fortune and was fighting off the ladies who had a newfound interest in his recently fattened wallet. Jenn was funny because she made little attempt to hide her laughter at this man and his $80,000 reward, and his heigtened status within the dating community.

When you travel across the country, it's great to stop and observe the diversity. Later that day, we stopped in Ogden and left for Boise, but I still think I need to give a little more time, to try to describe that leg of the tour. Right now, I'm in a Panera Bread in Seattle and I need to move on, but you will hear from me soon. I will keep you posted. Yinz are the best. Blessings from the road.

No Clowns, No Playgrounds, Just Good Food!

So I am on the road. This blog I am posting from my girlfriend, Jenn's computer. I wish I could put into words all that I've seen and experienced thus far. Last Wednesday, we left from Zelienople and made it to St. Louis. I felt so free, that I couldn't stop smiling all day. G.P.S.'s are amazing. I borrowed my dad's. He named it Tanya. Now from St. Louis we left on Thursday morning heading to Denver. The last time I traveled to Denver through Kansas I remember being bored. But this time, I just loved it. Maybe it was the company. Then we saw this Arby's sign that read: No Clowns, No Playgrounds, Just Good Food! The sign seemed angry. We laughed at the no nonsense attitude with which Arby's presented its case.

Anyway, in Denver, we were on this road (Rte. 86) that was a scenic route. I looked at Jenn and said "I will never forget this as long as I live!" I felt like I was on the edge of the universe. We were listening to slow Led Zeppelin tunes like: "That's the Way", "Tangerine", and "Thank You". There is something to be said for the feeling one has when you are half way across the country and light years from the stresses and concerns of every day life/ministry.

The trip from Denver to Boise, and then from Boise to Bend require posts of their own, but what I'd like to say thus far is that this is exactly what I've needed for maybe the better part of a year! Going from one position/church to another with no time to breathe has had me so focused on the task at hand that I feel like I haven't had time to slow down and focus on the giver of life. In my first six days on the road, I have felt the Lord tell me some things. Things that I haven't been breaking my back to hear. Sometimes, when we just slow down for a minute, the answers just seem to appear. At least that's the way it's been for me thus far. Next time we talk I'll tell you about a sunset that I wish I could've shared with the world, and a rest stop in Wyoming that I could not only preach a sermon on, but maybe a series. God speed!

What does "I Shall Be Released" Mean?

The title of my blog is "I Shall Be Released". Perhaps my first ever post back in February should have addressed this. I was sitting with some friends, one of whom, was helping me set up my blog. The first thing that came to mind was a song by Bob Dylan that I had been listening to. On the album "The Last Waltz" by "The Band", there is a compilation including Dylan, The Band, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Ron Wood, Ringo Starr, Van Morrison and Eric Clapton to name a few. The song that closes out the last performance was Bob Dylan's "I Shall Be Released". About a year and a half ago, I was listening to the album almost constantly. Recently, I examined the lyrics, and I found as I have with many a Dylan song, I am not quite sure what the heck he was talking about. But the greatest songs transcend time and space, and for me, "I Shall Be Released" just speaks of the freedom from the bondage that Christ offers. I am blown away by the victories He has won in my life! And the lyrics seem to point to a time "any day now" that the freedom will be apparent. The old self falls away. It has for me, and sometimes I'm not quite sure how. So that day, when my friend Jason asked me to come up with a title, that was what rolled off my tongue. Check out the entire album, or the DVD which was brilliantly directed by Martin Scorsese. The musicianship is something to behold. Blessings my friends.

Humorous, Followup Details to My Baptism

Here are some details I haven't told you regarding my baptism on Sunday: there was a young man who was baptized just before me who almost slipped and fell on his way into the baptismal. So I decided to be extra careful upon my entrance. In my caution, my foot rubbed against the back of the baptismal, making a very loud and awkward noise that could be heard easily as far back as the sound booth. Of course, I decided to say the first thing that came to mind which was, "excuse me!", which I said with a volume that could also be heard throughout the church. So at that point, there were at least some in the congregation who questioned whether or not I had actually just had a nervous bodily function. Any way, I muttered under my breath to Rich and the elder present in a somewhat frustrated tone, "That would happen to me on the day I get baptized!" They seemed to find this relatively humorous, and since they did, I did as well, because anybody who knows me knows I find laughter hard to avoid. So they lowered me under the water three times. The first time I emerged from the water I noticed Rich trying not to laugh. So of course I had a smirk on my face. The second time, I was actually holding back the laughter as were they. And by the third time, we were all laughing. I figured at that point, the Lord knows me, and understands that he created me in such a way that I will laugh just about any time any place, even as I publicly proclaim my life in Him! It was great!
Later that day, we had an awesome youth event at our church where several area youth ministries joined us for an evening of fellowship, worship, and teaching. It was really something to behold.
And then last night I got together with the guys I do music with on Sunday mornings, and we had a really cool practice (which is rare because practice can be a grind). But I am so blessed by the people the Lord has placed in my life in my nine months here. I love the hearts, and I love the passion I see in so many. So today, I am sitting here in my office wasting exuberant amounts of time blogging. I love God and I love days like this one.
Working here at Conway is wonderful. I feel like myself. And we can never really be alive until we are ourselves. So go and do what makes you feel alive, because what the world really needs is to see people who are truly alive. Until next time. Boom.

Baptism

A few months ago, I saw that our church (Conway Alliance Church) had a "Baptism Sunday" scheduled for April. I came to believe in and trust in Christ way back in the mid to late 90s, and I always had it in my heart to be baptized. As a youth intern at a church in Harmony, Zelienople, I had actually seen a student who I was mentoring get baptized in a pool! I always believed in my heart that I wanted the same for myself. My church does full immersion baptism. There was a time this was done in the nude. (never in my church!, but various times in history!)
So, this Sunday, along with four students from my church, I took part in the sacrament of baptism. I was quite nervous beforehand, and I'm not sure why. It was such an amazing experience for me. It has been so evident in my life how much the Savior truly loves me (when I have been often unlovable). An elder from my church named Rich along with my Pastor and long-time friend and mentor Rich Grassel baptized me. The day was truly blessed. I was truly blessed to have so many that I truly loved be there to witness. And I couldn't think of a better group of students to make this proclamation with me than those present that day. I love you all!

Benjie Helped Me

I'm a 29 year old man. A simple man, one could say a slightly technologically challenged man. But I have a buddy named Ben (Benjie) who knows the deal. He came and helped me with my blog today. I finally know how to add pics! In fact, this is the good lookin' fella right here. It's all gravy from here my friends. So now each and every time, you view my blog, come prepared to have your minds blown!

Let's Go Pens!

Wow! Last night was easily the most satisfying Penguins playoff performance since the Lemieux era (granted I think it's only the sixth playoff game since number 66). All the elements; the fourth line possessing the puck for an hour and a half in the offensive zone, guys like Stall and Kennedy playing with added grit, and Mr. Whitney beatin' some arse. We killed two five on three penalties I think. It was therapeutic. Go Pens!
I have been looking at other blogs lately, and many of my peers are more profound in their writings. Eventually, I'll give you something more meaty, for now, it may be good just to get in the habit of writing with more frequency. I still need to figure out how to add pics! Have a great day all! Zook!

Hey Guys! It's been a while.

Well, I got to work this morning and instead of getting a bunch of things done on my ever growing "to do" list, I decided I would finally enter another post on my blog. I took some time to list out some favorite movies and music etc. Yesterday I had lunch with about five guys at some little diner in Conway, PA. In the company was an old roommate of mine named Ryan Paskey. I laughed so hard, I honestly thought the management was going to ask me to quiet down or leave. The coolest thing about working here in Conway is the fact that my boss (he hates being called my boss) knows tons of people so I get to have lunch with tons of great friends from college etc. I haven't blogged in over a month because I couldn't figure out how. My friend Jessica showed my recently, so now I will try to be much more consistent. Eventually, I plan to meet with Ben Kendrew so I can learn to post pictures and make it really flashy for you all! Until then, hopefully my thoughts will be entertaining enough for you all. Don't spend too much time at your computers. The weather is wonderful out there today! Youth Group will be outside tonight which is awesome, because the room we use doesn't smell like potpourri once the jr. high kids run and root!

I love to write, but mostly just in my journal.

So I work for a good fella named Richard Grassel. And he suggested to me that I begin to blog. So I figured what the hey. I enjoy writing very much, actually. However most of my writing to this point has been rather personal (with the exception of mandatory church Newsletter Articles over the last ten years). At any rate, I will try to make my blog cool like Ben Kendrew does. But I warn you, I don't even have a computer at my house, so I doubt I'll be giving it quite the time that most do. I will try to say really cool things. Maybe I can eventually take the camera that my sister got me years ago for Christmas out of the box, and take some pictures and post them. Maybe. For now, I'll just try to be brief and catchy. Life is going really well, and tomorrow I am closing on a house which is really cool. First order of business: do something about the wood paneling. Other than that, the place is a steal! God bless you all!